Things to Shout at Ajax- a Top 10
The Portland Timbers welcome AFC Ajax, recently crowned champions of the Dutch Eredivisie, to Jeld-Wen Field on Wednesday, May 25. I’m not going to lie – Ajax is good. Even with the departure of Luis Suarez for Liverpool in January, the Amsterdam side play with a fair amount of pace along the wings.
It is a great test for the boys in green, and a nice introduction to truly top-flight football. And I don’t think we should let the (predominantly Dutch) side off too easily as fans.
SO, my top 10 heckling options:
10. “Your windmills are quaint but inefficient!”
9. “Waar zijn je lederhosen?” – “Where are your lederhosen?” – this is ironically waving our Ugly American flag in their face, as so far as I know, the Dutch have little but geography and cultural history to do with lederhosen. Leeuwenhosen, yes, but not the Bavarian staple of manliness.
8. Everyone’s favorite, sarcastic laughing guy: “Total Football? Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha!” (Bear in mind that this will only work if we’re level or ahead.)
7. Ajax fans sing “Three Little Birds” by Bob Marley at matches. We could manage that, I think. I don’t know how it’s heckling unless we get some Timbers references in there…
6. Roses v. Tulips. Somehow. There’s a chant there, I can feel it.
5. “Our beer is better than your beer,” or if you’re in a relatively kid-free section you might rather reference other recreational agriculture.
4. “Viva Espana!” – referencing the World Cup 2010 final.
3. “Your bacon is rubbish!” (I will freely admit that I am running out of material.)
2. “Kingdom of the Amsterdamned!”
1. “We’re the Timbers Army.” Always the best, and a nice counterpoint to Can You Hear the F-Side Sing?
Go forth and mock, good people of Portland.
Brilliant JP, pretty funny.
i see some nice ones there
i would refrain from using the beer one though, never in my life have i heard someone say American beer beats Dutch beer, let alone European beers 
Common chants against Ajax are Jew related, something to do with the number of Jewish ppl who worked for the club in the past i think.. Or you could hold up a big banner with KAKKERLAKKEN.. Means cockroaches
Enjoy the game!
Grtz from holland!
How incredibly tacky. Whoever wrote this list up must be bored with life. "Let's chant stupid American stereotypes of the rest of the world…that'll be cool. Uh huhuhuhuh." Please!!
Erik – I intentionally avoided the connection to/vilification of Judaism, for reasons that I hope are obvious. As is noted on the club's Wikipedia page, the connection has led to some totally unacceptable chants from fans of opposing clubs. We are not those people. We'll have to agree to disagree about the beer!
Edward – I take your reading of the post as a good sign that I nailed the humidity of the post just right. In other words, the humor was dry.